What happens in the 13 days after a death?

cremation, collecting the ashes, daily piṇḍa offerings, purification on day 10, and union with the ancestors by day 12–13.

Day 1 is the antyeṣṭi, the cremation, led by the chief mourner. On about the 3rd or 4th day the bones and ashes are gathered (asthi-sañcayana) to be immersed later in a holy river. Through the first ten days many families offer a daily piṇḍa (a rice ball) and water; tradition says these build a subtle body for the departed soul's journey.

Around the 10th day comes daśagātra: the men of the family often shave, the house is cleaned, and the main period of aśauca ends. On the 11th day ekādaśāha rites are done, and on the 12th the sapiṇḍīkaraṇa joins the departed with the line of ancestors (pitṛs). The 13th day, often called terahvīṃ, closes the mourning with a meal for relatives, gifts to priests and the needy, and prayers for peace.

The order and days differ by region and family, and many now combine some steps. Follow your priest.

Source: Garuḍa Purāṇa (Pretakhaṇḍa) · Sapiṇḍīkaraṇa: joining the ancestors

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