I couldn't be there when my parent died, or couldn't do the rites. Will they forgive me?

a parent's love does not depend on where you stood at the end; you can still offer śrāddha, prayer and dāna in their name.

Distance, visas, hospital rules, a pandemic, one's own illness — many children could not be at a parent's side or light the pyre. This guilt is one of the heaviest parts of grief. Please be gentle with yourself. Your parent knew your love from a lifetime, not from the final hour.

Tradition also leaves the door open. If someone else did the last rites, they are complete. You can still take part in the 10th–13th day rites, the monthly offerings, the barsī and every annual śrāddha. You can immerse a portion of the ashes, do piṇḍa-dāna at a tīrtha, or offer tarpaṇa on Amāvasyā wherever you live.

Many people find peace by doing something lasting in the parent's name — feeding the hungry, supporting a student, caring for others' elders. Talk to the departed in prayer; tell them what you could not say. That conversation is itself an offering.

Source: common teaching; śrāddha can be joined at any stage

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