How big should the terahvīṃ (13th-day) feast be? We are under pressure to invite hundreds.

there is no required size; feeding a few brāhmaṇas, relatives and the needy with love is fully sufficient.

The 12th–13th day rites (sapiṇḍīkaraṇa, śuddhi and the concluding meal) mark the end of mourning and the departed's joining the ancestors. The scriptural core is the offerings and feeding a small number of worthy people. The large community feast, sometimes called mṛtyu-bhoja, is a social custom, and it has burdened many families with debt.

Many religious leaders and community bodies now openly encourage simplicity. A common modern pattern: feed one, three or five brāhmaṇas or priests, close relatives and neighbours, and give food or money to an orphanage, old-age home, gauśālā or a temple annadāna. This carries the same merit — arguably more.

If elders insist on a big feast, explain gently that the departed would not want the family to suffer. Never take a loan for this; dharma does not ask it.

Source: Garuḍa Purāṇa; Manusmṛti ch. 3 (few, worthy guests) · Never borrow money for a feast

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